From day one I recognized this was not just a physical attack, but a spiritual one. There was no other way I could understand how all this could have happened in the hour and a half I was gone from my house, other than this was a strategically mapped out, carefully plotted ploy by evil powers that live in the supernatural realm and have been given dominion of this world.
Read MoreFrom day one, anytime someone would talk about those last 45 minutes, it was too much for me to handle. In fact, I think the Lord knew it was too much for me to handle. So I believe He gave me this one truth to hang my heart on until He could show me other truths.
Read MoreOver the next 4 weeks, every Monday, I’m going to share my journey of healing with you. I’m going to share with you what I feel like the Lord has showed me. I don’t know for sure everything that happened in those last 45 minutes of Amanda’s life, either in the natural realm or the supernatural one, but the truths I’ll share with you the next 4 weeks are the ones that have helped me heal.
Read MoreI purchased Amanda a sword from the movie Braveheart the Valentines Day during our engagement. I know, most guys do chocolates and flowers but I’m not most guys, and Amanda wasn’t most girls. She was special and each special occasion I felt the urge to do something special for her. Something that would top the last.
Read MoreSometimes you don’t have an explanation for it. It defies reason. It defies logic. It’s no respecter of time or appointments. It doesn’t take into consideration conversations you’re needing to have, situations you’re needing to save-face for. Grief. Agonizing, gut-wrenching grief.
Read MoreEvie would have been born 4 days ago. It's 7:42am and I'm sure I would be finishing up my morning coffee, readying myself to wake Weston up while Amanda tends to Evie. I'd bring Weston his milk and take him into the bedroom to see his mommy and his new baby sister. Weston's been saying "baby" a lot recently. It comes out more like "bebe."
Read MoreDespite the waves of emotion, I determined this year’s race was going to be special. We had 40 people in #ForIndy t-shirts running in honor of Amanda. Our Resonate Worship band was one of the featured bands along the route. 50 more of our Resonate volunteers signed up to pass out gatorade to runners. I was on track to post a personal record by running a faster time than I’d ever run a half-marathon. This year was going to be special!
Read MoreYesterday I took Weston to Amanda’s gravesite for the first time. I thought it fitting to begin a new Mother’s Day tradition with him. Needless to say it was very painful. Her headstone wasn't set yet, and he certainly didn’t understand what I was trying to tell him. But I wanted him to know more about his mommy.
Read MoreThere is a country song by the band Heartland called “I Loved Her First.” I remember this song hitting the airwaves the summer before Amanda and I got married. I also remember it seemed just about every country song released that summer was about a father giving his daughter away in marriage. I could have sworn it was some kind of conspiracy against me! Every time I would hear one of these songs that summer I would almost impulsively drive up to Amanda’s dad’s house in tears and apologize for taking his daughter away from him!
Read MoreThe story of Horatio Spafford has always been an inspiration to me since I first heard it on a kids audio program called The Adventures in Odyssey - if you grew up in church you’ll probably remember these cassette tapes. Since Amanda’s death, however, Spafford's story has taken on another dimension.
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